my heart is just aching for marianne today. ACHING.
you remember right? the fictional character in sense & sensibility that reminds me all too much of myself.
i think the last time we discussed my girl, M, her soulmate willoughby was being mysteriously charming & had left town. well, NOW, it's been confirmed that he has moved on as if their connection never existed & is almost engaged to another woman. MEANWHILE, marianne has been quietly clinging to her music, her reading, staring out windows & into fireplaces, waiting for the day to meet again, not interested in any other contenders, some might say "wallowing" but i say being true & unabashedly open about her feelings. needless to say, i'm crushed. as i was reading last night, i literally became nauseous as my heart sank into my chest for her.
i mean, am i alone in this? we've all been there, right? you put everything out there. you're vulnerable, honest, open, passionate, trusting, truthful & someone let's you down. someone made you feel silly for letting them in. someone made you question your instincts, your gut. there's something deep in your soul that is cold & achey. the natural tendency is to guard yourself... but try not to do that. don't let them steal your magic. don't let them crush your spirit. keep moving. unfortunately, it will happen again. your heart will ache & it will feel like it may never go away. the plus side for those of us who "feel" a whole lot, is that we know how to love a whole lot too. we may seem dramatic but at least we are genuine. #teammarianne
is it weird how attached i am too this book? i don't care. i wish i knew jane austen.
alright let's talk about food, i guess.
not sure how to relate this to sense & sensibility but i made tuna dip for lunch the other day. this is kind of weird for me. i'm not much of a fish girl but then again, am i? most people in my life hate fish & i really just never eat it because no one else wants it. sooo i bought frozen tuna steaks, seared them, blended them up with some stuff, & it totally hit the spot. maybe my body needed some omega 3's or something?
this dip is great for a more filling snack or a snacky lunch. it has a bunch of protein in every bite as well as fat from the mayo & cream. add some pita chips/bread & there's your PCF balance, my friends. also, i dipped some bell peppers in there because i find a way to incorporate bell peppers into most everything.
i say to give this stuff a shot. even if you are not a "fish person," i think you just might love it anyway. it's salty & interesting & different from the typical tuna salad from a can - yikes.
also, i have a new idea.
i'm thinking of leaving a little quote at the end of all my blog posts. i used to do something similar in my journal entries in college. i would leave a random song lyric at the bottom of each entry. typically, it related to whatever i was going through- if i was clever enough. so although this is clearly not a journal where i dispose all my deepest & darkest secrets, it is a wonderful outlet for me, & i would like to share quotes that i connect with if that's okay with you. maybe they will mean something to you as well.
i think i must have been a poet in another life. i probably lived in france too.
love you friends.
sear the tuna steaks in olive oil over medium heat until internal temp reaches 145 F // chop the tuna depending on how chunky you like it & allow to cool
mix all ingredients together // salt to taste // enjoy!!!!
2 frozen tuna steaks, thawed
1 Tbsp olive oil
1/2 finely chopped red onion
2-3 tsp chopped dill
3 chopped green onions
1/4 c. mayo
2 Tbsp heavy cream
1 tsp granulated garlic
1 tsp white pepper
kosher salt to taste